The Sekhmet Legionnaire of Cretanja Garrison 31 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by the Pharaoh with an even hand, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete lack of prisons, and triple-decker prams. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 4.855 billion Cretanjans have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Osiris. The average income tax rate is 26.7%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Cretanjan economy, worth 275 trillion Scarabs a year, is quite specialized and led by the Uranium Mining industry, with major contributions from Gambling, Furniture Restoration, and Automobile Manufacturing. Black market activity is frequent. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 56,806 Scarabs, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.0 times as much as the poorest.

Chest pains are considered part of the dining experience in Cretanjan restaurants, shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, a new religious movement claims that people's souls are stored in phosphorus, and frequent broken zippers have resulted in safety pins making a fashion comeback. Crime, especially youth-related, is relatively low. Cretanja Garrison 31's national animal is the Owl, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Kemeticism.

Cretanja Garrison 31 is ranked 67,885^th in the world and 1,182^nd in Suspicious for Most Subsidized Industry, scoring 2,813.29 on the Gilded Widget Scale.